I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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