There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
