You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize