It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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