Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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