Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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