it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
