don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
