don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
