Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
