and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
