oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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