God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
