This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize