I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
