does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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