how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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