Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
