people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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