i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
