There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
