areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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