she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
