he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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