so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
