You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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