i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
