I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
