Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
