After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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