chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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