Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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