I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
