I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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