Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
