she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
