Don't you send me to vm
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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