Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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