Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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