he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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