I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
