I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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