Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
