Quick, to the slutcave!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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