I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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