Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just gargled with NyQuil
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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