Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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