there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
