You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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