just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
