two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
