I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
40s are totally the cure
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to make out with him forever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
