Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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