kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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