just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
