How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
