I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
