What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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